Category: Finance

Variables and Chokes: The Comedic Conundrum of Variable Pay! đź¤Ł

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Intro

You know, there’s always that one unicorn – no, not the billion-dollar startup kind – but the mythical concept called ‘variable pay’. In theory, it’s meant to incentivize employees and align their goals with the company. But in practice? Well, it often feels like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded… while riding a rollercoaster… backwards. Ah, the sweet (and sometimes baffling) symphony of rewards, metrics, and the ever-elusive ‘performance criteria’. Ready for a chuckle-worthy exploration into this corporate maze? Dive right in!

The Comic

Context

At the office coffee corner, the team huddled post-payslip distribution. Amidst the aroma of fresh brew, whispers and chuckles about variable pay began to brew.

Meet the Characters

(read more about the following characters here)
Chirpii – The HR Songbird of Mentorship & Discipline!
Waggz – The epitome of the “Yes Boss” mantra!
XYise – Questions and Graphs, Written All Over His Face!
Diggz – The witty sidekick of the Boss!

The Cartoon

<< From “Cirque du Biz”, A sridvana’s Comic Strip Conceived in 2015 >> — Excuse me for the PPT visuals! I once dreamt of jazzing it up with a cartoonist’s flair and a dose of humorous dialogues. But here they are, shared in their untouched charm for your blog-reading pleasure!”

Waggz – Frustrated: “Again, I got less variable pay than I thought.”

Chirpii – Concerned: “Let us check with XYise.”
XYise – Explaining: “There are 27 variables and 12 weightages across 5 operating units used in the variable pay calculation. Let us look at each now…”

Waggz – Disinterested: “Forget it.”
Diggz – Cynically Humorous: “I’m sure there’s a ‘Screw-the-variable-pay’ variable that gets slipped into that formula somewhere from the many variables used… And XYise’s variable pay is based on how much he saves …”

Waggz – Chuckling: “Just like Bangalore’s traffic. No matter the route, there’s always one choke point that screws up the plans. Guess our variable pay too has its pay-choke points!”

Contrarian Views

Remember, humor is subjective and exaggerates, and while many might find the joke hilarious, there will always be differing opinions on any subject.

  1. Complexity has its reasons: Some might argue that variable pay structures are complex for a reason. It’s an attempt to balance the myriad of considerations businesses have, such as employee performance, company performance, market conditions, and industry benchmarks.
  2. Motivation Factor: The variable pay, despite its complexities, is designed to motivate employees to perform better. It aligns their goals with the company’s objectives, ensuring that when the company does well, they benefit directly.
  3. Transparency Issues: The joke might assume that companies are not transparent with their variable pay structures. However, many organizations hold regular sessions to explain their compensation structures to employees, ensuring there are no surprises.
  4. Too Cynical: Making a joke that there’s a “screw-the-variable-pay” variable might be seen as overly cynical and not give credit to organizations that genuinely try to create a fair and motivating compensation plan.
  5. Standard Practice: Variable pay isn’t a novel concept. It’s widely accepted in many industries as a part of the compensation structure. Making fun of it could be seen as making fun of a well-established business practice.

MidJourney Prompt with inputs from ChatGPT

A cartoonish office setting with numerous charts, graphs, matrices, and data calculations prominently displayed in the background. In the foreground, focus on an individual sitting at a computer desk, eyes widened and mouth open in a shout of bewilderment and anger as they stare at an on-screen document. Veins can be seen popping on their forehead, emphasizing their strong emotional reaction. The ambiance suggests a complex and data-driven work environment, contrasting starkly with the person’s explosive response to the content they’re viewing. –ar 16:9

Digits and Delusions: A Playful Take on Paychecks! đź¤Ł

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Intro

Numbers, especially when they’re in our salaries, have a magical way of catching our attention. How often have we heard folks flaunting the number of digits in their paycheck? But what if there’s a playful twist to that age-old brag? Dive into this comic for some childish fun, where digits might not be what they seem!

The Comic

Context

At the office coffee corner, the team huddled post-payslip distribution. Amidst the aroma of fresh brew, whispers and chuckles about variable pay began to brew.

Meet the Characters

(read more about the following characters here)
Waggz – The epitome of the “Yes Boss” mantra!
Diggz – The witty sidekick of the Boss!
Chirpii – The HR Songbird of Mentorship & Discipline!

The Cartoon

<< From “Cirque du Biz”, A sridvana’s Comic Strip Conceived in 2015 >> — Excuse me for the PPT visuals! I once dreamt of jazzing it up with a cartoonist’s flair and a dose of humorous dialogues. But here they are, shared in their untouched charm for your blog-reading pleasure!”

Waggz – Excited: Oooohuuuuu, Diggz – I got a 9-digit salary this time. Wjgss valued my loyalty.
Diggz – Teasing: Check the currency, it is in Vietnamese Dong!
Waggz – Shocked: Whhaaat?
Diggz – Sarcastically: Chirpii is experimenting, in a playful way, to see if employees get happier with a CEO’s salary… just not in a CEO’s currency!

Contrarian Views

Every jest carries different perceptions. Some might not appreciate the pun, and here are some opposing views to consider on the concept behind our recent comic:

  1. Cultural Sensitivity: Joking about currency values, especially with references like the Vietnamese Dong, can be seen as culturally insensitive. Some might argue that it inadvertently demeans a nation’s economic standing, and could be offensive to those from Vietnam or with Vietnamese heritage.
  2. Employee Value: Basing an employee’s worth or happiness on the sheer number of digits in their salary is a shallow perspective. True employee satisfaction comes from feeling valued, being in a supportive work environment, and achieving personal growth.
  3. Currency Misunderstanding: Currency’s value doesn’t strictly come from the number of digits. Some currencies are naturally ‘inflated’ in terms of sheer number counts but might have lesser value compared to others. It’s a poor metric to use for valuation.
  4. Childish Humor Concerns: While humor can be subjective, some might feel that using such a ‘childish’ or ‘kiddish’ way of presenting a topic as serious as salaries is not appropriate. They could argue that it trivializes the importance and struggles around wage discussions.
  5. False Impressions: Emphasizing the number of digits can create false hopes or misunderstandings, especially if someone is unfamiliar with the currency being referenced. They might assume a higher value than is actual.
  6. Professionalism: Some might argue that such jokes don’t have a place in a professional setting, especially if discussing payslips and salaries, which are typically confidential matters.

MidJourney Prompt with inputs from ChatGPT

Create a cartoonish image of Wiggz, characterized with exaggerated features: big round eyes widened in astonishment, and a gaping mouth. He’s excitedly holding up a payslip close to his face. The payslip should be cartoonishly large with oversized, numerous digits to emphasize its length. The background is a fun, colorful office setting with quirky charts and graphs on the wall, and a comically cluttered desk. –ar 16:9

Payslips and Puzzles: Decoding the Deduction Dismay! đź¤Ł

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Intro

Continuing our comic spree, we dive into the mystifying world of payslip deductions! Ever eagerly scanned your payslip, only to raise an eyebrow at some curious deductions? We all hunt for roles that promise not just impactful contributions but rich learning experiences too. But imagine if that quest for learning led to a peculiar discovery on your payslip? No spoilers, but let’s just say our witty sidekick Diggz has a light-hearted twist up his sleeve. Enjoy!

The Comic

Context

In an IT services company, payslips have just been distributed. Amidst the usual buzz, a newly joined employee looks puzzled as he scrutinizes his payslip …

Meet the Characters

(read more about the characters here)
Diggz – The witty sidekick of the Boss!
Recently Joined Employee

The Cartoon

<< From “Cirque du Biz”, A sridvana’s Comic Strip Conceived in 2015 >> — Excuse me for the PPT visuals! I once dreamt of jazzing it up with a cartoonist’s flair and a dose of humorous dialogues. But here they are, shared in their untouched charm for your blog-reading pleasure!”

Recently Joined Employee: “This is strange, I see a weird deduction every month in my payslip. What’s this shit, Diggz?”

Diggz: “Hihihi, I know what it is?”

Diggz: “Did you say ‘It is also a learning opportunity…’ during your interview?”
Recently Joined Employee: “Yes, I did.”

Diggz: “Thought so, Company is taking a small fee for your learning.”

Contrarian Views

Investing in continuous learning of employees is a must. Above comic is just a fun take and contrarian views against it:

  1. Investment vs. Expense: Employee development is an investment leading to increased productivity and innovation.
  2. Retention & Loyalty: Companies investing in growth foster loyalty and reduce attrition.
  3. Competitive Edge: Free training opportunities attract top talent.
  4. Inclusivity: Paid programs may limit diversity and inclusivity.
  5. Unforeseen Costs: Lack of training might lead to costly mistakes.
  6. Moral Aspect: Profiting from employees’ personal growth may be seen as unethical.
  7. Hidden Benefits: Skipped training could mean missed innovative ideas and perspectives.

MidJourney Prompt with inputs from ChatGPT

Illustrate a humorous scene in an IT office environment where a quirky, newly joined employee is examining his payslip with a magnifying glass. Beside him stands Diggz, a witty sidekick with a mischievous smirk. Ensure both characters have exaggerated and comical features to emphasize the humor. The background should hint at a modern tech office, with computers, desks, and perhaps a whiteboard with scribbles related to ‘Learning Opportunities’. Avoid including any specific text or labels in the scene. –ar 16:9